How often happens that we see the person for the first time and before the conversation starts we 'know' who we have to deal with. For a long time, I thought it is like that because of some magic, or kind of connection from the previous life, energy, vibration... The truth is plain. We all communicate even when we are not talking.
Studies have shown that only 7% of our communication is made up of word content. The other 93% is voice intonation, physiological gestures etc.
Who doesn't know what the 'body language' is?
Most of the people say that body language is universal, that everybody can understand it. Surprisingly it is not the truth. I mean, to some level it is comprehensive. But body language has some 'barriers' created by differences in culture, by borders, by beliefs. Gestures accepted in one part of the world can be understood as offensive in the other one. For example, when somebody asks 'how are you' you don't need to say anything, the easier way to respond is with a gesture. It can be a thumb up and this is 'OK', means 'everything is fine'. In Europe 'thumb up' is a positive gesture. Meanwhile, in the Middle East, West Africa, Sardinia, Australia, the Philippines, and many Islamic countries, it is very offensive and means more or less 'put it up to your butt'.
Body language, however, is more than straight and conscious gestures. Body language usually is unconscious body movements and facial expressions. For example, if someone is sitting with their arms tightly folded across their chest, we could interpret that as defence posture. Or, if during conversation feet of other person are pointed toward us, we could say that person is involved and engaged with the topic. Of course, we cannot generalize, sometimes arms are held around the chest just because somebody is simply cold.
Body language is only a part of non-verbal communication. Often our opinion about others is based on their appearance and the environment. 'Don't judge the book by its cover', we all know this saying. However, without asking, we know, who is going to climb in the mountains and who is going to get drunk in the club.
What does knowledge about non-verbal communication give?
Understanding paralanguage (another name for non-verbal communication) allows us to 'hear' the unspoken. This makes it easier to find ourselves in work life. This knowledge will help us to better understand our partner, we can be a better parent. Listening is more than hearing, effective communication is more than just listening to words - it is reading another person to fully understand their feelings and emotions.
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